"CHICK--FEEL-GAY"??
Whether you are for , against OR indifferent to "Same Sex Marriage" one thing is for sure: this ain't nuthin' but politics, folks don't wanna' piss off certain other folks with money on either side...but we should be able to say what the heck we want...if it were me and I headed a MAJOR company like Chick-Fil-A, I'd have prolly kept quiet about my personal feelings on something destined to bring a VERY public response--good or bad, but "Oh Well!" lol!
~Morning Mocha Moment~.... "Keep Your Head Down"
I was having dinner with this wonderful guy friend of mine( the REAL kind of friend, I don't do *booty-buddies-with-benefits*; we are either lovers or not) and I was telling him about some recent challenges I'd had been having in the 'romance department'.I whined that recently there had been a series of guys that were interested in me and I had been out with a few but was really into only one of them... BUT ( you knew one was coming) 'HE' was acting funny now that he knew I liked him back! I puppy-dog-eyed my friend into a response "Sooo WhaddaYaThink?" I was anxious to hear whatever "Y-chromosome dominant" nugget of wisdom he had for me."Huh?" I demanded clarity.
"Your focus should be on your career at this time, keep your head on your work,etc..on what matters. If the right guy is looking for you--and WE LIKE to do the looking for women, not vice-versa---even with your head down---he'll see you."
wow.
Gotcha' Crunchie...thanx!
~UCB~
~Morning Mocha Moment~...: "Non-Factors"
Just a thought I had and wanted to share because I'm pretty sure I'm not by myself on this, lol!
Today I'm also debuting my "Morning Mocha Moments"; every day-rise over a cup-o-joe & while I get ready for the day; I'm gonna' write at around one hundred words or less about some of what's literally IN my mind at the moment ... AND at this moment I'm considering the audacity, arrogance and huge mistake that some people make thinking their friendship, their business, their brand of love, their social milieu ( fill in the blank with whatever else I missed ) is not irreplaceable! In truth often they are not even a ( how does Evelyn from "BasketBall Wives" say it??) "A non-mutha'-@*&%$#-ing factor!".,LOL!.....
Okay, nuthin' more to see here folks, move along....
UCB~.
Today I'm also debuting my "Morning Mocha Moments"; every day-rise over a cup-o-joe & while I get ready for the day; I'm gonna' write at around one hundred words or less about some of what's literally IN my mind at the moment ... AND at this moment I'm considering the audacity, arrogance and huge mistake that some people make thinking their friendship, their business, their brand of love, their social milieu ( fill in the blank with whatever else I missed ) is not irreplaceable! In truth often they are not even a ( how does Evelyn from "BasketBall Wives" say it??) "A non-mutha'-@*&%$#-ing factor!".,LOL!.....
Okay, nuthin' more to see here folks, move along....
UCB~.
"SATC".....Just A Few Things I Really Love About The "OTHER" Carrie Bradshaw!
 |
| "Sex And The Pretty"-----Me all dolled-up to see the movie with my chicas! |
So let's start with the obvious shall we: I AM CLEARLY A SERIOUS FAN OF "SEX AND THE CITY"! ( * insert your own "DUH!" comment as you read that*) When coming up with a name for ~La Blog~ I knew that as a good marketing strategy it should be a twist on an already popular brand or celebrity ; not unlike uber-successful pro-bloggers "Perez Hilton" and "Nicole Bitchie" did when they came up with their own familiar celebrity-spin-off pseudonyms.
So who better else to "spin-a-name-off-of " than the ultimate: 'fashion-relationship-pop-culture-SEX' guru herself,------>Carrie Bradshaw!( *Hats & brassieres off to author &creator of 'SATC', Candace Bushnell and the dazzling actress Sara Jessica Parker(Broderick) for playing her so fab-u-lously-dead-on that she seems real..almost)
Now onto WHY I love this series even now several years after the show wrapped ( I will actually watch both my DVD collection AND catch the abridged version of the show on TV---although censoring the profanity and the sex scenes is a little like watching Dr. Oz without Oprah ---entertaining sure, but something is missing)
I'm fond of making lists so here's my personal 'top-ten' why 'SATC" is one of the BEST shows of ALL time! (*WARNING* I had a LOT to write so this is NOT a short list )
1. THE WOMEN: Carrie Bradshaw, Miranda Hobbes, Charlotte York and Samantha Jones have gotta' be the next-best "Fab-Four" since "The Beatles"...well, to me and millions of fans around the country anyway. At one point women( and probably a few guys) were proudly sporting T-shirts with the message: "I'm a Carrie": Artsy with bohemian-chic style dominant in her personal fashion sense,care-free,spontaneous and occasionally over-emotional. Sara Jessica Parker's iconic leading-lady was every bit the writer/columnist who lived the 'Mi Vida Loca-Fabulosa' that many of us wish we could be! You would also find "I'm a Miranda"versions : ...sharply intelligent with an equally sharp an often acerbic wit, sarcastically funny,pragmatic and cynical. Dynamic actress Cynthia Nixon actually came "out-of-the-closet" during her stint on "SATC" as Miranda. To my knowledge, most fans of the show never skipped a beat; her scenes with her batender-lover-tuned-'Baby's-Daddy'-turned-husband, Steve Brady were no less believable. Then there were the "I'm a Charlotte" t-shirts letting everyone in-the-know, know that you were a : sweet-as-apple-pie, traditional, over-achiever kinda' gal. The very pretty Kristen Davis played Charlotte, the art gallery-curator turned permanent wife & mother of two, as an endearing but sometimes annoyingly cute, sexually bland AND the polar opposite to the final 'character-definition' shirts----->"I'm a Samantha!"...If you even remotely followed the series, you know any chick rockin' THAT t-shirt is claiming she's a :uber-sexy,confident,charming go-getter with a never-ending libido and a 'caution-to-the-wind' attitude about life & sex that rivals Donald Trump or Hugh Heffner. In real life, alot of women either fear the "Samantha Jones" types OR secretly wish to be like them; for me I accept Samanthas for who they are. I identified with all of the main characters and their on-screen chemistry seemed so effortless that I assumed they were still kickin' it like BFFs even once the director yelled "CUT!" (...and if you know the "E!-True Hollywood Behind-The-Scenes-Story" ---you know that was ALL acting.....)
2. THE DIALOGUE : Who can forget the potty-mouths on these broads?!! Even 'eternal priss-miss' Charlotte has made the occasional off-color gesture or comment! ( remember her putting two fingers in a 'V-shape' to her mouth to symbolize 'cunnilingus'?) I gotta' give props to the main writer Michael Patrick King and his crew, I laughed out loud during many an episode and even 'borrowed' a few of my favorites to use!
3. THE FASHION: Mind if I say "WOW"! I can't think of a show that's not directly about fashion where fashion was featured so prominently in almost every scene. When a character's wardrobe changes becomes water-cooler talk OR literally changes the world's fashion trends ( consider "the Carrie name-plate necklace", the "Giant flower-bow" accessory and of of course Carrie's beloved "Manolo-Blahniks") then 'fashion' is not JUST an important ingredient to the show but an actual 'fifth' character! Scarfs & hats off to costume-designer/stylist Patricia Fields for making us all a lil' more style-savvy and less "fashion road kill"!
4. THE NIGHT-LIFE SCENES: Ahhhh, from the unassuming little breakfast & lunch cafes to the "only-in-NYC" trendy,hot-spots; both New-Yorkers and out-of-towners alike loved living vicariously through all the Manhattan-misadventures of Carrie & crew and where they wined-dined and did their bump &grind <----(couldn't resist)
5. THE MEN: Okay, can we just have a moment of silent admiration for the 'SATC-MEN'?...*PAUSE and SIGH--Ahhhhh!*...okay, moving on to what I like about the characters beyond their good looks.
There were series regulars like 'bartender -turned-bar owner Steve Brady' (Miranda's baby-daddy--turned hubby) the erection-challenged Dr. Trey MacDougal (Charlotte's 1st hubby who she divorces and consequently meets her 2nd hubby, divorce attorney Harry GoldenBlatt ) gorgeous starving actor-turned movie star, Smith Jerrod ( one of Samantha's many--her main guy other than habitual-cheater, 'Richard') and if you know only a tad bit about the series you know Carrie's love-of-her-life-heart-breaker--turned hubby &wealthy mogul is "Mr. Big"--a.k.a John James Preston (played sooo smoothly by handsome actor Christopher Noth). Although there are many,many memorable men who make their way into the lives,hearts and beds of Carrie & Co. ; it's these SATC guys( along with one other, Aiden Shaw, Carrie's sweet-to-good-to-be-true boyfriend after her 'BIG-break-up'...) who truly stand-out...an eye-candy cornucopia with something for everyone to drool over at some point!
6. THE SEX SCENES
In a word: "WOW!".......even for a night-time,original show for HBO, 'SATC' was pretty steamy stuff-----especially in the 90's when it debuted! The sex scenes were not the ONLY reason I or most fans watched the show but it is one reason fans stayed glued to it every week! Somehow the writers & producers combined comedy with sex and found a formula that was altogether verrrry erotic( never pornographic) familiar to it's adult audience and often hilarious even during the hottest of scenarios----not easy to do I'm guessing but it worked!
7. THE CITY: Manhattan if not all of NYC has been called the 'fifth character' (not counting the SATC fashion which has it's own presence as well) If you didn't LOVE the city of New York before, you were at least in deep 'like' by the end of the series. The cinematography that featured the city in all it's metropolitan glory made natives proud or homesick and the rest wanna' hop on the next thing smokin' to get there!
8.THE STORY-LINES: Props are due to all involved on writing, including series creator/producer Darren Starr but the lion-share goes to head-writer &producer Michael Patrick King; a proud & openly liberated Gay MAN with an obvious gift for writing for and about sexually-open, liberated, straight women--go figure! His writing was the meat & potatoes of the series; sex-scenes, fashion, big name cameos and eye-candy aside--without the dialogue and the exciting-funny-sexy-heart-wrenching scenarios to connect with, there would be no show!
9.THE LIFE-LESSONS:
As much as fans loved the show for showcasing intelligent, savvy,confident women on top ( in the bedroom and outside of it) it was also necessary to show them fall flat on their ass from time to time. Just like in real life, nuthin' makes you root more for a champion than to see them rise, fall spectacularly to the bottom and finally pick themselves up and rise again. Who can't relate to that lesson? All four leading characters have had their successes and failures and I think it was beneficial for their viewership to see how they rebounded and that rebounded well!
10. SARA JESSICA PARKER : SHE is the spirit, the look, the heart ,soul ...and 'sole' of Carrie Bradshaw...of the show itself; I can't imagine 'Sex And The City' with anyone but 'SJP' playing the lead role! The character of *Carrie* is based mostly on the REAL life of author-columnist-uptown socialite Candace Bushnell ( *note the same monogram initials as well) who even bears some resemblance to Sarah, both being :blond,thin and attractive. It wouldn't matter if the author were a zaftig, brown-skinned brunette herself ; in the petite yet talented hands of Sarah Jessica (*also an executive producer to the series*) 'Carrie' is as sincere and endearing to the fans as her beloved Manolo Blahniks are to her!
So there's my list ..(*whew*) on why I lurrrrve 'SATC'; sure there's more I could have added even still but if you're a fan you already have some idea...and if you're not, now would be the perfect time to find out for yourself!
Sincerely Yours.
The 'other' Carrie...
YOU'RE ON MY "LIST!"
My gentle caveat lector to you 'curious reader' is that while I don't intend to be bitter, I will be honest maybe even bitingly so. Now if you're a dude--and not in a metrosexual, almost *Will* of 'Will & Grace" kinda way' but like a (sarcasm approaching--->) real dude that's overdosing on machismo, superbowl stats and jock itch then there's no need to roll your eyes and sigh with the "D@mn, here THEY go again with the male-bashing!" thoughts---cuz' I'm not going there, I'm going somewhere else.
Sincerely Yours,
Mz. Urban Carrie Bradshaw-♥
My 'What-I-LOVE-About Men' List
( It's always best to start with the positive stuff 1st, then *POW*--Hit-Em-Up-Style*, ...giggle-giggle)
1. I love men who are natural protectors.. You ain't gotta' be swinging a gladiator sword & shield or swooping-up distressed damsels outta' burning castles but when I witness men who stand up for ANYBODY: women, children, even weaker men, my eyes go all "ice-cream melty". This is something nobody can quite pull off like a real man-can. I emphasize 'real' because I've seen guys with the "hero complex" attempt to *protect the innocents* and it just comes of very self-serving and 'Captain Save-a-Ho'-ish.
2. I love men who are confident, even cocky but NOT arrogant In case you are one of the ones reading who didn't get the 'memo';---confidence, cockiness and arrogance are not one and the same.
Confidence is of course believing in yourself that you can get 'er done, Cockiness or it's modern-day equivalent ''swag, swagga' or swagger" is believing in yourself but with a lil' extra braggadocios flare to it. I define cocky men as those who don't think they're better than others or 'hate' on others--they just know they shine and if you shine as well--cool--but they are gonna' still shine regardless. Arrogant men just KNOW they: shine-style-look-floss-fish-hunt-work-play-game-f#ck---rock better than anyone else and you and everyone else should bow-down! Now whether they can actually back-up why they deserve praise (usually they can't) is another matter. I dislike falsely confident men (or women) that try and make everyone around feel 'less-than'..not cool, period.
3. I love height in a man, i.e. TALL men: Yes, I know that seems unfair to list and this can't be helped but it's MY list and I keeps-it-real: Tall men are sexy and there's something about a man who can reach stuff I can't..or see stuff I can't....that makes me wanna' climb til' I reach the top....
4. I love men that are good to their mamas and love or at least like their family in general
Now I do not like "mama's boys" and contrary to popular belief---they do NOT always make the best mates just cuz' they take care of mama----especially if mama ain't got a man, then noooooobody's happy! However, if a man can put his kids, wife, siblings on top and STILL balance out the demands of a job, friends, etc...It's wonderful. No one has to be up under their fam' 24/7 <----(Ugggh, that's what cook-outs & holidays are for) but put in time, blood is thicker than water.
5. I love men with a God Conciousness About Them
We don't have to go to church every Sunday if I'm dating you--- but I do NEED to know that you don't worship at the temple of "Your-ba-self". I love God & I show it, he needs to as well--whatever ya' wanna' call 'HIM', but DO call 'HIM'.
6. I love men who are men of conviction, men who are impeccable with their speech:
That's pretty self-explanatory: mean what you say,say what you mean and do what you say you're going to do--period.<---Or don't say it.
7. I love men who love to do 'Man-stuff': Just like guys appreciate women being feminine and all that typically goes with my gender--I love the opposite! To be clear I don't want to date or marry a caveman but I do like when a guy is cool, comfortable and even gets-off on the whole: 'screaming at the screen during any major fight or game--fixing stuff around the house--changing a tire--mowing the lawn--barbecuing on the grill ( without causing a towering inferno---please &thank you)--smacking or pinching his lady on her ass and then smiling like "Yeah, I did it!"----raking leaves',etc blah-blah-yackity-smackity---y'all get the gist--"Man-Stuff"! Even if some women do these things too--and many proudly and LOUDLY proclaim that they do---just like a man--Um, yeahhhhh--you-go-guy *ahem* I meant girl---. Honestly that's admirable when a woman is completely self-sufficient but although I am no one's 'Scarlett O'Hara', I'm hardly 'Rosie O'Donell' either so I LOVE when a man does it for me or just cuz'.....
Heyyyy, "curious reader" are you still there? Good--GREAT----cuz' I'm almost done...
Okaaaay so that was my "Top 7" (or more like I need to wind this down cuz' I could go on for the length of the bible) Here's the rest of what I DO love, love, LOVE about the testosterone-dominant gender......
--------->I love men who can take a joke and tell a good one.....physically strong men and what that feels like on top.......men who shower their woman with attention ,when no one is looking AND when they are as well....men who communicate well; via phone, via in person, via body language---tell-me-show me....... I love men who love to laugh....men who are nice to children, and not just their own......men who smell good in a masculine way: woodsy colognes, strong but sweet oils & scented lotions, ahhhh!......men who can PLAY a sport, not just watch them....men who have nice, tenor or baritone voices ( hot-d@mn! )......men who like to cuddle, kiss and show affection with their strong arms all around you, like a grizzly bear playing nice but you both know he could swipe you down like a fly if he wanted<---but would never!......men who tell the truth......men who tell you what's REALLY up and not what they think you want to hear....men who don't need female "FANS" constantly in their face or *female friends* who step waaay over their boundaries.....and last but not least men who will WORK; you ain't gotta' be Trump or Diddy--but you DO need to get and keep a job, "no romance without finance"! It's not a good-look on the cutest &flyest of guys and I won't support any GROWN people in any way!
Well, for my "What I DON'T-Like-About-Dudes" list, I was gonna' pull a move like my girl "C.G" over @ http://www.curvygurlchronicles.com/ and basically say "Flip-What-I-Wrote" and you have my reasons for what I can't stand about some men----BUT I'll also add: men who are bullies, ...men who cheat just because they can,... men who manipulate those who love them unconditionally....men who mistake kindness for weakness...men who prey on women with image issues.....men who lie for no good reason....men who scheme just for the fun of it...men who tear down rather than build up....men who can't get beyond their egos......men who make & won't raise the babies &won't marry the ladies ......men who hit,smack, punch, strangle, choke,kick,slap or emotionally beat down a women or child....and I'll stop there before I've written a 'Madea play',-helllurrr'...lol! ;-)
So there you have it "curious readers", THE LIST!
Not as short & sweet as I originally planned but I guess I had a LOT to express, huh?
If you "feel me"...that's cool, grrrrreat ....and if you don't, the same applies !
"Two Tears in a Bucket",<------------riiight Miz. Brown @ http://villagecrier.blogspot.com/ ??? ;-)
Wow, that was so cathartic---such a release--whoooooosh! "Giving birth, Giving birth!"
Sincerely Yours,
Mz. Urban Carrie Bradshaw-♥
Letting My Bucket Runneth Over...
A while ago I created an ADULT ( yes, in exactly the way you're thinking) 'creatives-only' cyber chat-room and it's been a nice, little experiment: a lively,support group filled with a variety of intelligent ,artsy, funny,free-minded...Our most recent topic was writing your own "Bucket List".
This was last week...
It was now the END of the week and I STILL had not written mine..arrrrgh!! ( which is kinda' ratchett since I started this lil' project AND came up with our prompts----bad group-administrator--bad!) One of the members, a very talented, fledgling author and group-regular even called me out on it publicly...AND I had it coming too--sooo I took it like a woman, no excuses! Okaaaay, maybe one lil', lame excuse about the CIAA basketball tourney and hanging out into early morning(<------*blog forthcoming*) ...but no cutting of slack and I knew one way or the other I would have to make time to do my list before Monday of next week or all my credibility as group-administrator was going out the proverbial window!
So without further adieu, I give you my "Bucket List" ( or 'The-Things-I-Should-Be-Doing-Now-OR--Have-Already-Done-But-Ain't-Got-Around-To-It- List)
1. Learn to swim...well:
Yes, I am one of those chicks who LOVES to bob around and even doggie paddle & float in a pool, the ocean, a lake..a jacuzzi even BUT if you ask me to race you by swimming from the kiddie section to anything above 5 feet-----notgonnadoit! I'll let my hair & face get totally soaked but that's it!
2. Learn to speak & understand fluent Spanish ...and NOT just Spanglish!
What can I tell ya', Spanish didn't appeal to my sense of romance like French did----so I took three years of 'La Francais' and now ask me how many time do I ever get to actually USE it with someone?? More than 2/3 of the country speaks Espanol, so I need to learn and El Fasto!
3. Live in Paris, France for at least three months!
Gosh knows I've tried to get there, even auditioned for a reality TV show that was filming in Paris----lonnnnng story! As a teenager you couldn't tell me that Le French was not the sexiest love-language ever ; 'The City Of Lights" is home to the: "Louvre", the "Eiffel Tower", the "Moulin Rouge",the "Champs Elysees", etc--how could I not want to know what it's like to live & hopefully love there at least once in my lifetime?!!)
4. Visit & stay a month or two in Johannesburg, South Africa.
While there I want to go to nearby Soweto and see where Nelson Mandela lived, was imprisoned for 27 years and eventually became president of all South Africa from '94-99'! His life is proof that you can turn a horrific situation around to the best! It's also a gorgeous city and I want the pleasure of staying in a four star hotel with 24 hour concierge and have White Afrikaans to serve me,<-----like it or not; to see what it's like for once to live in the majority..(outside of my time in college @ my HBCU, Winston-Salem State University).
5. Visit Tokyo, Brazil and Rome:
Pretty much the same reasons as above: they are all beautiful cities that everyone should visit at least once if they can!
6. Create-write-draw my own successful, animated cartoon series to appear 1st on YouTube and then by popular demand: have it appear regularly on live television!
If you know who I REALLY am, my reason is already known and yes, I'd be the 1st in history to do this!
7. Marry again someday...
..Once again, if you know who I REALLY am, you already know...
8. F#ck my man discreetly & incognito while attending a loud,crowded & HYPE concert while the band plays on Need I say more? Mmmmmmm....
9. Receive & give head while attending that same loud,crowded & HYPE concert while the band plays on .... again, need I say more? Need I say anything,lol!
10. Become a successful, published author of children's books and/ or graphic novels
I'm sooo over the 'out-the-trunk' of the car thang',lol! I've been SELF-published for years and I've had my column or art published by quite a few magazines---I want the BIG-deal now, the whole enchilada: the agent, the big-time publisher's house, the speaking engagements, book signings, fancy restaurants & hotels...swag-babay!.
11. To have my 'college body' back OR even smaller.....
Who wouldn't?
12. To meet President Barack Obama & 1st Lady Michelle Obama
For obvious reasons for most Dems and cuz' I ADORE THEM BOTH!
13. To become a better skier
I actually learned to ski in my senior year of high-school with the "Explorers" social-networking club but I was so concerned with being cute that I spent more time hanging out in the warm & cozy lounge area where cute guys (who also couldn't ski) were hanging out. I DID eventually get out there on those snowy slopes and ski ; once you experience speeding down a mountain and occasionally air-born like that----there's no feeling in the world like it! I can't wait to go again and really learn this time!
14. Drive down to Florida the whole way, music crunked in my jeep without anyone else taking the wheel!
again, if you know me.....
15. Do more and give more to help find a cure to end Autism :
'Nuff said.
16. Meet, serve a delicious dinner that I cooked and spend a luxurious weekend with Oprah, Diddy and Tyler Perry : Okay, that one is a bit far-fetched but ANYTHING is possible----and if I have to just meet & hang out with only one of them---I'll take "O" for the win!
Well, there's my list! I am no longer a blogger-hypocrite and as far as I'm concerned I want as much time and as lonnnnnng as possible to cross my list off as cuz' I'm in no hurry!
Sincerely Yours,
Mz. Urban Carrie Bradshaw-♥
"Blame It On RIO"....
"Blame It On RIO...."
Guitars strum while Conga drums beat....
Quick fancy-foot work from festively painted feet...
Rhinestones and plumes over barely covered booties and breasts
While I feasted on costumes of Brazil and all it’s beauty, his hands made me forget the rest…
"Do I STILL make you nervous?"
is what he sing-songed softly into my earlobe; his voice was soft...gentle... yet dripping with "swag" carrying the same strong, deep tenor that I'd admired in Freshman English so many years ago.
I didn’t answer just yet but rather slip& slided away from him to join in with 'las chicas-locas' dancing this funky, little line-dance everyone was hyped about doing in front of me,...some popular band playing a combo of rock & El Mariachi . He DID make me nervous and I needed a quick & fun diversion, so I danced solo for a moment.We were almost "One"--we had been so close as we swayed, swerved and sort of grinded the night away at my neighborhood's celebration of ~Carnival~; "A Night In RIO".
I was in "Cielo latino" as my eyes hungrily took in all the sights and sounds of a culture that I normally have only a passing interest in. Everywhere I looked I saw evidence that the party-planners spared no expense to bring "Brazilian Flavor" to the event! I loved that every age group, every race, color and every socioeconomic group seemed represented there that night; from the wealthiest of the blue-blood wasps slumming it in the artsy-section of town---to the Hispanic-blooded man, woman and children I saw clearly familiar with celebrations of this caliber, whether eating, dancing , singing, laughing we were all having quite the fiesta---'Living Outside Our Box'! My date for the evening, a tall, glass of dark & sexy was quite familiar since his own blood is mixed with Portuguese, Puerto-Rican and Black--he spoke alternately in Spanish patois & Black English as if he were 'home'.....um,by way of Jersey that is. My "Papi" couldn't have thanked me enough for suggesting we try out this indoor festival for our second date and every time his lips gently closed against my neck, my shoulders, the tip of my back and all through my hair--he showed his sincere gratitude!
In truth, I was so aroused from both him and the simpatico sea of swirling bodies around me( one guy in front of me so close that he and I looked like a couple); all dancing, chanting, singing, screaming in rhythmic ecstasy around us that I truly wanted to take my date somewhere and 'thank him back'...like in the words of legendary crooner Lionel Richie: "All Night Long"
We weren't alone though....
We were a merry band of three that evening ( our fourth cancelled out): me, Papi and a mutual girl-friend who served not only as a fun,delightful and most welcome addition to our outing but also as a necessary buffer between our mounting lust as the music and erotic atmosphere seduced me to wanna' do things I knew I would regret in the morning...
"What did you ask me?"
I two-stepped & swiveled back over to him and responded to his question coyly, eyes looking down as if to shield me from his smoldering sensuality and then finally up at him, direct. I knew all too well what he asked me and I knew all too well that we both knew what the correct answer was to that. Instead of answering me though we clasped hands and did a few amateurish Salsa steps together, not quite “Dancing With The Stars” but just as fun for us. Papi's hands slid smoothly up and down my waist as I wiggled and shimmied my hips, he squeezed my ass as a reminder that this dance we were doing was a metaphor for so much more:
We had been dancing around our 'unfinished business' for years...
We dated once back in college which led to a hot & heavy evening of sticky fumbling and me dancing around his couch and the fact that I was a virgin...and had a boyfriend...and was not prepared to take it all the way.
Years later I would see him at various parties with me always holding my partner's attention and him always holding mine from afar; he wasn't "The one who got a way" but rather I was and now I wanted to be caught...
He leaned in:
"I said…Do I STILL make you nervous?"
I melted back into his arms, pushing myself completely into him as I turned my face next to his in the 'kissing position" and said simply
"Yes."
Aiiiiiii.....Te quiero mas cuando baile conmigo....me encantaria.
"Sistahs Who Swing Their Swag".....
You ever wonder why some chicks ALWAYS seem to 'get-the-guy' and I don't mean any guy( a buck-toothed,one-legged prostitute can get any guy on the right night)
but 'THE' guy...you know "Mr. Wonderful"; good on paper and in person...staring at you lovingly over a romantic dinner that HE cooked in HIS five bedroom house...*sigh*( yeah, I'm STILL looking for that guy too, holla-back-at-me if you run into him...please!)
Well even though I personally have never had a problem finding men( good or bad, I do find 'em ),
I have noticed that I seem to have two types of girlfriends when it comes to the opposite sex:
Those that regardless of their cute factors can pull a good-lookin' man out of a ‘Melissa Etheridge-and-Queen Latifah concert ..AND then there are those ( ...again, regardless of cute factors) who couldn't hook a cutie off 'Bachelor Island' when she's got 1st class airline tickets for the Superbowl wearing a cheesy-nachos and beer scented thong underneath!
Okaaaay, I'm exaggerating but um,... not much.
So being the concerned and caring gal-pal that I am,
I couldn't help but wonder *WHY*…
Why can't some girls get the guy and why do some ladies ALWAYS have the 'one' plus a spare if the 'one' starts trippin'? Let's face it: some sistahs swing that swagga’, and some just... swing.
We ALL know that looks are a VERY important factor but not the only factor, except in cases where the man wants a living Barbie doll but outside of that you have to consider: personality, career, family background, libido, etc. I know of some chicks that are bringing home the bacon, cooking it up AND taking out the left-over grease afterward. ..And yet they still have no-manses!
So what’s the problem?
Okay, I’m no Steve Harvey but I'll take a stab at it, this may be a non-brainer for some women but we all have a friend in the remedial-romance class ( if not, the friend might be YOU!)
Soooooooo, here's my non-expert theory 1#
High self-esteem.
Some women just know they should be with a guy and that confidence they bring to the dating field makes them attractive. Ya' know it's like the line in the movie Field Of Dreams...."If you build it, they will come" and if you build-up and boost your OWN ego, they'll come…everybody wants a winner ( or at least are willing to buy into the hype of one)
Non-expert theory number 2# ....Attitude.
Bad or good, whichever one you have a man won't be able to forget that rather significant detail about you. Now I'll give you one guess and a gold star for winning if you know which one a decent guy prefers....
Non-expert theory number 3# ..... Cleanliness.
I'm not talking --crazy-anal-retentive-serial-killer--kinda' clean BUT I am also suggesting that even if your home or car would not qualify for "Hoarders", you may still wanna' tidy up your living space from time to time. While some of y'all are buying every freaky toy and new outfit from 'Victoria's Secret' every week, the REAL secret is you need to: change the sheets more often, hang your clothes up IN the closet actually, remember Lysol and not perfume-over-funk is your friend and finally wipe all the crap cluttering up your bureau into a basket with a lid( and that includes the teddy bears and other stuffed creatures, give 'em to your nephews,nieces, neighbors or somebody)
Non-expert theory number 4# Learn to cook.
This one isn't nearly as important as it used to be around your sweet, old nana's day but it doesn't hurt. I've never heard a guy say:" If only she'd stop making me all these home-cooked meals, I wanna' spend my paycheck on eating out every night this week!"....There's a reason why some men never leave home, they're hungry!
Non-expert theory number 5# :
Take care of business...in the room ( or rooms) that matters.
If you to ask which room, my lil' column ain't gonna' help ya' boo!
This should be the easiest one, but some girlies make it sooo hard ( and not in the good way either) It's just like the old Fats Waller song : "Find out what he likes and when he likes it..and let him have it just that waaaaay". There are certain things a gal has gotta' do ( and reasonably well) if she really likes a guy. You don't have to be 'Linda Lovelace' or 'Buffie-the-body' but if you are clueless, ASK or learn quickly as you go ( or rather cum). If you don't.....some one else will.
.....Well, I could go on but you'll just have to wait for the book ( hey, I can't give away ALL my secrets) Until then, check out this poem-excerpt by sistah' Maya Angelou, it explains a lot....
"Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,they think I'm telling lies. I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
a hive of honey bees...."
…..'NUFF SAID.
My Two Cents Worth.....
UCB
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